Bad Break Up - Hurts - But Can Be Positive

 

The first thing you will want to do after a bad break up is to let yourself feel the hurt." Don't bottle it up or push it down and pretend everything is ok. We all know everything is not OK and it is not healthy to pretend you are not hurting. If you ignore it, it will not go away and someday will come back to bite you in the butt.

Now, I don't mean you have to go off the deep-end either. Never threaten your ex. Nothing good will ever come of threatening someone. There are healthy ways to handle what you are feeling.

You must realize that you will not be over your ex tomorrow. Getting over someone takes time. Make the time constructive and treat it as a time to learn new relationship skills. You will not only be healthier for yourself but also for the next time around with someone new.

So, feel your pain, but do not let it consume you. Put a time limit on it. When the anger starts to surface, and it will, trust me, there are safe ways to let it out where no one gets hurt.

If you still have a picture of your ex, draw a target on it and tack it up on the wall. Go buy some marshmallows and stand about ten feet from the tacked up picture. Throw the marshmallows one at a time, as hard as you can at the picture while telling him/her off. Scream at the top of your lungs, just get everything out. There are about forty-five marshmallows in a bag, throw each one and when you are done, yeah, you will have a mess but you will feel a lot better. You might even be laughing when you are finished. Ha, what bad break up?

There is something to be said for being able to laugh. If you can laugh, whatever the trouble is, it probably isn't really that bad. You know you can handle anything at this point. You will survive and realize that it was not the end of your world, just the end of a relationship that had been bad for a long time.

If you have given yourself plenty of time (minimum six months) to get your world put back together then consider dating again. The next time you find someone you would like to get to know better, take it slow. What the heck, even play hard to get. You are stronger now and know more about what you need and want in a new relationship.

Do not give up on love, love is the most beautiful thing to be in, in the whole world. Just take your time getting into a new relationship. Talk to whoever you are considering dating and let them know that your previous relationship ended badly and you are going to do whatever it takes to not let yourself get hurt again and avoid another bad break up.

How To Mend A Broken Relationship

 

There are countless reasons why you would need to mend a broken relationship. The first thing to do is to name them. Is it money? Not spending enough time together? Responsibilities getting in the way? Whatever the problems are they can be overcome.

If things have not totally gotten out of control (and even if they have) you can attempt to fix them by opening the lines of communication. Too often, when things start to go bad, people in a relationship shut down and withdraw into themselves. What you should do is grab your partner and say enough is enough, let's have this out right now. We need to work together to resolve these issues.

If the problem is money, try to either find ways to make more or find ways to spend less. One or both of you go get a part-time job to bring in more cash or learn how to spend less by cutting coupons or buying the store brands which are usually as good as the name brands and cost a lot less. Turn a hobby into a money-making machine.

If you don't spend enough quality time together then start having a date night once a week or once a month. Put a babysitter on retainer and use them frequently. Go see a movie and have dinner, go see a play, have a picnic in the park, or just go for a walk after dinner. Do something to keep in physical contact with each other during your "date". Holding hands will help mend a broken relationship.

I once knew a couple who were married for 73 years, had thirteen children and countless grand and great-grand children. They were so cute together, and they held hands everywhere they went. Physical contact is very important in keeping a relationship healthy.

How about those responsibilities? If they are too much for one of you to handle then ask the other for help. As a couple sometimes one of you just expects the other to know what you need or are thinking. If you think about it that is rather foolish, right? I know I can't read anybody's mind, can you? So lower your expectations and ask for help. Explain things and show them how to do what you need done if they don't know how. Work together to divide responsibilities evenly or if money is not a problem, hire someone to do whatever it is that you need done.

Make some time and go have some fun together. Go fly a kite, go bowling, go to the go-cart track, play miniature golf, find a way to laugh together. Be creative. Play, laugh and be happy - together. Remember how it was when you were all brand new and just falling in love? You spent every single moment together and everything was fresh and fun. You laughed all the time. Find your way back there and you'll also find that's the way to mend a broken relationship.

 

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Relationship Help

 

 

 

Do I Need Relationship Help

If you are asking yourself and anybody else who will listen, "Do I need relationship help?", then my response would be, if you are asking the question the answer is probably yes. No relationship is perfect and neither are the two individuals trying to make a go of it. Each one involved brings their own unique set of qualities to a relationship, good and bad.

Since we are all products of how we were raised, if your parents had a good relationship, respected each other, listened to one another and didn't fight about everything under the sun then you were shown your entire young life how to have a good relationship. Your parents gave you the tools you need to have a successful, loving relationship and you probably didn't even realize it.

On the other hand, if your parents didn't have a good relationship, disrespected each other, ignored each other and fought about anything and everything, they gave you a whole different set of tools. If this is the case, it is understandable why you are asking, "Do I need relationship help?"

If you do find yourself asking this question, good for you, this is a positive step believe it or not. It means you are willing to do whatever it takes to improve on yourself and become a true partner in your relationship. If you and your significant other are on the same page then you can both grow together and no one gets left behind.

So, where do you find the information you need to improve a relationship? There are several places you can look.

 

• 1. Self-help books - a good resource for insight into what it takes to have a good relationship. You don't get any feedback from a book so there will be some trial and error to find what works for your relationship and what doesn't.
• 2. Counseling - a third party to listen and offer advice when the problems seem too big to handle on your own. You will get plenty of feedback here so be prepared.
• 3. Your parents - They can give you a wealth of information on how they managed to stay married for as long as they have. Just remember, everyone is different and so is every situation. Don't try to be your parents, be yourself. Don't get too specific, try to talk in general terms when involving your parents, they worry about you enough.
• 4. Your significant other - Yes, yes and yes! Who else would you talk to about YOUR relationship? You would think this would be a no-brainer but you would be surprised at how may people start to see their partner as their enemy, instead of their ally, when things aren't going well.

So if you are insightful enough to ask, "Do I need relationship help?" then also be open to trying every single suggestion or recommendation given to you to help improve your relationship. It will definitely be worth all the hard work.

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Signs a man is in love

 

 

You know what I do when I need love help? I think about the person I'm in love with and then list the reasons why I am in love with them. I think about the kinds of things they bring to my life like joy, passion, and romance, just to name of few. I also think about what I can do to make them happy. There is nothing better in the world than to be able to make someone else smile and if you are already in love with that person then that makes it even better.

Love is a wonderful emotion isn't it? When your are in love with someone, it's as if you can do anything, there is nothing you are not capable of. You are on Cloud 9 and everything they do is wonderful, they can do no wrong.

There are so many different ways to express your love; cards, flowers, love letters, an intimate candlelit dinner under the stars, the possibilities are endless. My favorite way to show someone I love them is the candlelit dinner. To me, taking the time and preparing a perfect meal then presenting it in the perfect setting says a lot to the person you have prepared it for. It makes them feel special and loved.

When I need love help, I just start with a little planning. I find a recipe for something I know they like and match it with a good wine. Set the perfect table with a table cloth, cloth napkins and candles as the centerpiece. The meal is served on fine china and I have soft, romantic music playing. It's as if we are the only two people in the world. Nice.

I do like to write love letters and poems also. Love letter writing is a dying art, I think letter writing in general is a dying art due to the invention of the internet and cell phones with email, texting and whatever.

It's a shame that those first feelings of love you experience don't last, life always seems to get in the way. Though, now that I think about it, I suppose those first feelings are replaced with others, like security or contentment. Some people might think that being content in a relationship is a bit boring but if you are with the right person contentment is a plus.

It means you are comfortable. You don't have to try to impress the other person or try to win them over. You already have and they have accepted you for who you are, unconditionally. What more could you ask for?

Here is a good test, if you are in a relationship and you can sit in the same room, in silence, for more than 10 minutes without feeling like you should say something, that probably means you are content in that relationship and there is nothing wrong with that.

So on occasion, if you need love help like I need love help, just try some of these suggestions and I bet you'll find you'll be content in no time.

 

what to do when first meeting someone from online dating

 

Now days, the process of finding a partner can be streamlined via the technology of the Internet. Online dating has become trendy and readily accepted by most people as a way to save time and effort in looking for someone to build a relationship with.

Not too long ago this method was new and most people were skeptical about using it as a viable technique for meeting someone. And the truth is, at the start it was more difficult to find the ‘right’ sort of person through online dating. The simple fact is that like anything else, it’s a numbers thing. With more and more people signing up to these programs it becomes much more likely that the perfect person is ‘online’.

So how about you – is online dating right for you? Have you considered it at all?

The process is rather easy and fun. Nowadays you can find online dating sites that are specially designed for target groups. There are sites for seniors, sites for ethnic groups of all sorts, sites for swingers, and even sites designed to help those seeking a wealthy partner. Plus, there are sites geared toward helping people that are already involved in a relationship meet others in the same situation. The reality is that you can probably find an online dating site that seems customized to meeting your particular needs.

By joining a site that is targeted to a specific group your chances of meeting the right person are already increased. After all, you will start out the relationship with something major in common. From there your profile will help determine a match for you. That’s why it’s important to be honest in your profile. This helps to insure that your match will be worthwhile.

But it is not advisable to give out too much personal information online. That is, things like your address etc. , at least until you have developed some level of trust with the person.

Along those lines is insuring your own safety when you meet a new person for the first time. It is advisable to meet in a public place. That offers a level of safety for you over meeting someone at his or her home or a hotel room. It’s also important to let other people know about your planned meeting/first date. And ideally, your first date will be planned to be a short one. This could mean meeting for a cup of coffee or a drink. That provides a time frame that you can opt to keep short or if things are going well, you can expand.

Keep in mind that during a first time meeting you will want to have an atmosphere conducive to talking. This makes the idea of meeting at a coffee shop perfect. If you decide to meet for a drink it’s probably better to meet at a restaurant rather than a bar or pub. The reason being that a restaurant will be quieter.

It’s been said that one in four to five modern relationships get their start from online dating. In years to come that ratio is likely to drastically increase. So what about you – is online dating in your future?

Why People Stay In Bad Relationships

 

Teenage Online Dating - Parent Be Aware

The world has gone digital, today it's estimated that more people will meet someone to date online than off. This trend is also showing up with teenage online dating. Many adults would argue that kids are in school and have part time jobs so they have many chances to meet someone to date right in their own backyard. Whether you think online dating is appropriate for your teen or not, the reality is that your teen is very likely already meeting new people online so it might be good if you monitor their actions so you can help keep them safe.

Of course, not matter what your age, the most obvious benefits to online dating is the opportunity to meet people that you may never have had the opportunity to meet in real life. You can meet people from virtually anywhere in the world and most any cultural background. Unfortunately the downside is that you don't really know who you're talking to. That 16 year old from the next town could actually be a 40 year old from your neighborhood. That's why it's so important to teach your teen how to be safe online.

Here are some safety tips to instill in your teenager, and this is the time to not worry about repeating yourself:

1. Remind them that they don't really know who they're talking to so they shouldn't give out any personal information such as their address, phone number, name of their school, what kind of car they drive, the name of the mall they hang out in, etc. Any or all of this seemingly innocent information could be all the information a predator needs to come into physical contact with your teen.

Here's a case in point: there was a story not long ago about a kid chatting with another 'kid' online. He was pretty careful to not give away too much information but he did mention the name of his school. In another conversation, weeks later, he mentioned that he and some friends were going to the local mall. The 'kid' he was chatting with online was an undercover police officer and he used this 'innocent' information to track down the kid he'd been chatting with when he was at the mall with his friends.

Talk about scary, it's a good thing that it was a police officer and not a predator. That teen learned a very valuable lesson that day, and you need to tell your kids about this story so they can too... a predator can use the most innocent of information to locate them.

2. If your teen and their online friend think that they'd like to meet, try to talk with them on the phone first, this way it will be much harder to lie to you about who they really are and how old they are. Also never, ever, let them meet anyone from online until they tell you about it. Once they've told you about it, the two of you can figure out the safest way to meet their new online friend (hint, it won't be anywhere near your home or school).

Whether we like it or not, teenage online dating is most likely here to stay. Instead of fighting it (which is likely to just encourage your kids to do it behind your back) talk to your teen about the good and the bad of online dating. Make sure they know how to protect themselves and let them know that they can always come to you if they feel uncomfortable about something that has happened.

 

 

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Questions You Should Ask Your Boyfriend

 

5 Questions You Should Ask Your Boyfriend

The longer you are with someone, the more you learn about who they are as a person. It is important for couples to be honest with each other, working to understand as much as possible about one another. While certain topics may come up in general conversation, others need to be purposefully brought up. There are some things that you need to make sure that you ask your boyfriend. These are just some of the questions you should ask your boyfriend before you get serious about your relationship.

What Are Your Goals?

It is important for women to find a man that is goal oriented and driven. It is also important for a woman to understand whether or not her boyfriend's goals affect their relationship. Talk to your boyfriend about his goals. These goals can be societal driven, monetarily driven, or career driven. These goals may make you boyfriend more appealing to you, or may make you rethink your relationship.

Do You Want Kids?

It is important for couples to be as honest with each other as possible. If you want to have kids at some point in your life, you need to let your partner know. Likewise, if they do not plan on having kids in their future, they should let you know. Ask your boyfriend about kids to understand if you are on the same page, as far as children are concerned.

What Do You Think About Marriage?

There are some men that are afraid of commitment, working to avoid an actual marriage. There are others who are seeking out marriage, working to marry someone as quickly as possible. Talk to your boyfriend about marriage in general to understand what their goals are, as far as marriage is concerned. If your goals are opposite of one another, the relationship may not work.

Have You Been Tested?

Partners need to be honest with one another in regards to their sexual health. You need to be upfront and honest with your boyfriend about your sexual past, and vice versa. Ask your boyfriend if he has been tested for sexually transmitted diseases; if he says no, let him know that there will be no sexual relations until he is tested. While it is important to be understanding, it is more important to be safe.

What Do You Like About Me?

This simple and somewhat self-absorbed question can actually do wonders for your relationship. Asking your boyfriend what he likes about you will remind the both of you why you are with one another, helping to strengthen the relationship.

It is important for you to understand where your boyfriend has been, and where your boyfriend is going. Take the time to work these various questions into your conversations. They will help you to understand your boyfriend's thoughts on topics that may be important and crucial to the success of your relationship. If you want to be sure that you completely understand your boyfriend and your relationship; ask your boyfriend the above questions.

 

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