Shabby Miss Jenn

Friday, July 2, 2010

When You Or Your Partner is Bisexual

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Are You Or Your Partner Bisexual?

It seems that in today’s world people are freer than ever to be who they really are and to admit to having thoughts and desires that not so long age were considered taboo by many. Bisexuality is now a lifestyle that many people freely enjoy. But when it comes to meeting and dating a partner that is bisexual one can only wonder if it is possible to ever completely satisfy his or her needs. And if you happen to be the partner with these desires you may find that you are asked to make some unpleasant choices if a relationship is to survive and thrive. The truth is that being attracted to both sexes is very common. But there are misunderstandings about what this really means. An attraction does not always mean that an individual is going to act on that desire. In fact, one may never do anything more than simply ‘admire’ or ‘love from a distance’ when it comes to members of the same sex.

While some individuals may be secretly holding themselves back from acting on this same sex attraction for fear of what others may think, etc., others are not looking for a real same sex relationship, although they do not deny the attraction. In fact, some individuals will simply enjoy extremely close same sex friendships in order to satisfy this type of attraction. But if you are dating someone that confirms they are bisexual, then you should be prepared to accept the fact that he or she will not be completely fulfilled if their only sexual encounters happen with you. However, it is important to note that most bisexuals do enjoy being involved in a committed and long lasting relationship. The ground rules just may be a little different than what is considered to be the ‘norm’ for other relationships. Some couples adjust to this difference quite easily. In fact, many swingers are bisexuals.

Some people are simply bi-curious. They are curious about the idea of having sexual relations with members of the same sex. In which case, these individuals are not confirmed bisexuals, but experimentation may reveal that bisexuality is their lifestyle of choice. Because bisexuality is becoming increasingly accepted as a way of life, finding accepting partners is also becoming easier. In fact, now days there are countless forums, chat rooms, social networking sites and even online dating sites that are geared specifically toward bisexual audiences.

If you happen to have bisexual tendencies and you meet a partner that you want to have a lasting relationship with – it is very important that you share this information with him or her. After all, at some point you will probably want to be with a different partner in order to satisfy your sexual desires. If you have kept this part of you a secret, it is likely that over time it could ruin your relationship. On the other hand, if you share this attraction with a new partner chances are that he or she will accept your bisexuality as just another part of you and who you are and it could possibly enhance your relationship in some way. And if a new partner simply cannot accept you for who you really are, then your relationship really doesn’t have a solid foundation.

Some of us are simply more open minded when it comes to sexuality than others. And some people have strong religious beliefs that prohibit thoughts of such things as same sex attractions, etc. The differences between various groups of people are what make the world an interesting place to live. The trick is finding a partner that is compatible with you and your unique ways.

 

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Sunday, June 27, 2010

Teenager Dating - 8 Tips For Peace Of Mind


And you thought the 'terrible two's" were bad, now your teenager wants to start dating.   When it comes to teenager dating many parents will find it somewhat less challenging if all parties involved are well aware of the ground rules and expectations.

When your child enters their teen years, it's time to start talking about what you consider the proper age for dating.  The earlier you let your child know what age you think they need to be before they can start dating, the less (hopefully) fighting will occur.  Children and parents almost always have different ideas of when they should start dating, but at least if you've talked about it openly for some time, neither of you will feel blindsided.

Here are some great tips to keep your teen safe when they begin dating:

1. Make it very clear to your teen what your expectations are as to the type of dates they are allowed to go on. For example, if your teen is only allowed to go on dates with another couple(s) make sure they, and their date, know that.

2. Be very clear as to what time their curfew is as well as what the punishment will be if they are late. Again, make sure their date knows this as well.

3. Make sure your teen never leaves the house without a cell phone and some money.  

4. Make sure you always keep the lines of communication open with your teen and let them know that if they get themselves in a jam, they should call you and you will come and get them no questions asked (at least not until you are both safely home).

5. Even though some parents find it hard to do, make sure that your child has knowledge about sex and the consequences of sex such as STD's and pregnancy.  Being a parent means you can't be a wimp, if you feel uncomfortable talking to your teen about these issues, too bad, get over it.  The life you save may be your kid's!

6. Also, explain the dangers of drinking or doing drugs specifically in the context of dating.  Make sure your teen understands that if they drink and drive they could kill themselves or one of their friends.  Also make sure they understand that being drunk or high can impair their judgment when it comes to things like having sex.

7.  Make sure that you meet their date.  You don't need to grill them, but just some polite conversation is fine as well as a friendly reminder of what your expectations are when it comes to curfews, acceptable places to go, etc.

8. And last, but not least, let your kid know you love them and even though you worry about them that it doesn't mean you don't trust them.  Just let them know that you will be there for them no matter what and if they ever need to talk to you, just listen.

When you have kids, the scary changes just seem to keep on coming at you and teenager dating is one of those changes. The best thing you can do to help your teenager get through this time is to try to keep communication lines open no matter what.   Believe it or not, more often than not they really are listening.

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Monday, June 21, 2010

Getting Your Ex Back After A Breakup

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Get Your Guy Back After A Break Up

Things can be difficult to deal with after breaking up with a guy, and it doesn't matter if you broke up with him, or he broke up with you. Either way, you just don't feel like yourself, there's an emptiness that only you can understand, and you would like nothing more than to feel somewhat normal again. Maybe you have decided the only way to make that happen is to get your guy back.

As promising as that sounds, you need to understand that getting back together is usually harder than most people think. After all, there was some reason that you two broke up. Somebody wanted it to end. It's always better to try to save a relationship while you are in it, but there is still hope if that isn't the case.

Yes, it really is possible to be together again. It may not happen, it won't be easy, but it is possible. However, before you do anything else, you have to be 100% certain that this is what you really want to do. You will also need to be sure that you have the right reasons for getting him back. In other words, don't try to patch things up just because you think that's what you're supposed to - you need better reasons than that.

Listen up! This next point may sound a bit outdated, but it's true. You need to make sure your emotions are under control before you try to get your ex back. Let's face it, guys are not as geared to handling emotions as they can be.

That means it will be up to you to come to terms with much of what you're going through. Things will go much smoother if you don't shut the guy down by being overly-emotional. As mentioned, it may not be easy, but it can be done.

The next thing you need to do is start living your own life again. Yes, you want your guy back, but you are not a couple again right now. So, you need to show him that you are doing fine and are handling things like a well-balanced individual.

If you do the above things right, and it leaves a positive impression on your ex, then it won't be long before he tries to get in contact with you. Be careful. Your tendency at this point may be to pour your heart out, to beg, to make empty promises, and so on. Don't do it. Continue being calm and rational. Think of it this way, if the things you were doing led to him talking to you again, then it makes sense to keep doing them.

Doing the things above will give you the best chance of how to get your guy back. While they may be difficult to do, it will be easier to do them when you are able to keep the end result in mind. There are no guarantees in life, but you can stack the deck in your favor. All it takes is making the decision and doing what needs to be done, and before you know it, you will be happier than ever.

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Saturday, June 12, 2010

Right Way To Getting Your Ex Back

 Get Your  Ex Back

Have you just gone through a break up? And are you now wondering how to get an ex back? If so, you are not alone. Virtually everybody has broken up with someone at one point or another. However, most of those people decided to move on instead of trying to get back together with an ex. But, those people aren't you.

If you are ready to do what it takes and willing to do a little work to get your ex back, then there is hope for you and your situation. To put it simply, being broken up doesn't mean you can't get back together.

Even though it may seem impossible right now, in the vast majority of cases, there is no real reason why both parties can't work through their issues and be a couple again. The key is knowing what steps are needed to win your ex back.

Before you do anything else, it is absolutely essential that you uncover the real reason why you broke up. This is harder than it sounds. That's because the first few reasons you think of, are likely not the real reasons.

You need to do some digging to get to the underlying causes that led to splitting up. While you can't go back in time to change things to prevent the break up, you can learn from the past, but only to the degree that you are able to find the true cause of what went wrong.

One single event may have been the cause of your break up. But more often than not it's a series of events or behaviors that have accumulated until they reached the boiling point that caused you to split. Regardless, it's going to take some work to get to the bottom of things.

And you have to do so before you can move forward. Sure, you may be able to take shortcuts to get your ex back, but you will only be headed towards trouble again. If you're going to make an effort to get back together, you may as well do it right and be in a longer term relationship.

The next step to getting your ex back is to not appear as being needy. When you want to get back together, you want to do it now. There is a tendency for people in this situation to wear their heart on their sleeve, and be overly emotional. You will do much better if you appear confident and well-adjusted than if you appear to be an emotional wreck. To put it another way, confidence will be more appealing to your ex than fragility.

Finally, do not play games. A lot of people will tell you to get even with your ex, or try to make them jealous. That's not only immature, it's also manipulative and not the kind of foundation to build a renewed relationship on. Also, it sends a strong signal that you are not well-adjusted. Who would want to be with somebody who's going to manipulate them into doing things they don't want?

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Gettng Your Ex Back

You Really Can Win Back Lost Love

If you are reading this article, then it's probably safe to assume you have recently gone through a break up. It's also a safe assumption that you are either ready to be single and move on with your life, or you want to know how to win back lost love. There is also a good chance that you sometimes waver in these feelings and aren't sure what to do.

Whatever you are going through, it may help to know that you are not alone and millions of people before have gone through the same thing. What does that have to do with you? Well, these are the people who learned from their mistakes. This means you can follow their time-tested advice and not have to make unnecessary mistakes of your own.

Before you start trying to win back your ex, you need to be honest with yourself. You have to be as objective as possible and ask yourself if you really want to get back together with them. Your initial reaction may be, "of course I want them back!"

But take some time to dig deeper. Perhaps you just don't want to be alone. Or maybe you are more interested in the idea of being in love. Don't feel bad if you ultimately decide to stay apart. Better to know it now than to move forward on false pretenses.

For the rest of this article, we will further assume that you want to win back lost love. In that case, one of the first things you must do is apologize for your past mistakes. This can be tricky if you're not sure what they are. Even if you have said you're sorry numerous times, keep trying.

Again, do some digging, some soul searching and you should be able to uncover the things you need to apologize for. Also, be sure that your apology is sincere. In other words, apologize because you want to, not because you think you're "supposed to".

If it was your ex who did wrong, then an apology would be great, but don't expect one. It may or may not happen, and if you want them back, you can't wait forever. Instead, you will need to forgive them.

You don't necessarily have to forget, but you won't hold their past actions against them; though you may watch for certain signs of trouble in the future. However, be careful that this comes from a place of logic and doesn't evolve into mistrust. True forgiveness can be difficult, but will go a long way towards keeping your future relationship harmonious.

Finally, be willing to make any needed changes to make things work. But don't go so far that you lose who you are, or to the point of being phony. You need to love each other for who you are. And, if you follow the tips above, and do things right then you will a very satisfying answer to the question of how to win back an ex.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Mature Dating Top Tips

Three Top Tips For Mature Dating

Younger people often think that retiring from a career means retiring from everything else; that you can't have fun, that you can't have a social life, that you aren't interested in companionship. Hogwash! One of the fastest growing trends of today is mature dating. It wasn't all that long ago that people in their upper sixties were starting to be shunted off to the dreaded old folk's home.

But with new advances in medicine, today's seniors are more health and vibrant than ever; delaying a potential stay in a nursing home by several decades. In fact, even the concept of where older people go has changed substantially. Instead of being in a cold hospital like setting, thriving and active retirement communities that focus on social activities and fun. People are not only living longer, but they are happier as they do.

Perhaps you are a senior who has been away from the social scene for many years, and you're concerned that you have been left behind. There's no need to worry.  At the same time, it's perfectly natural to be a bit hesitant when it comes to dating again. Even if you're feeling a somewhat "rusty", you shouldn't let that stop you from jumping right back into it. Here are three tips for mature dating to make things easier for you.

1. Less pressure

While it may not seem this way at first, there is a lot less external pressure. If you're retired, then your career and work schedule aren't going to get into the way like they would have before. Chances are good that all of your children are out of the house, so you don't have to try to find a babysitter every time you want to go out.

And, best of all, you know much more now than you did back then. You are better primed to handle different dating situations. Includeding, but not limited too, avoiding some of the drama typically faced by teenagers; when they start dating. While dating can put pressure on anybody, at least you are free of many other pressures that compound those feelings.

2. Age doesn't matter

As it's been said, "age ain't nothing but a number". While that may not be grammatically correct, the idea behind it is true. Another phrase that's just as true is, "you're only as old as you feel". Keep both of these ideas in mind.

Those thoughts can be quite freeing and allow you to go into mature dating with a more youthful zeal. Be happy! Have a great time. You worked hard all your life, and now it's time to reap the rewards! Dating seniors doesn't mean you have to go to the old folk's home top play bingo (unless you really enjoy it).

Instead, you can try to do more active things together. Live it up. Age should not be the main factor in deciding what you should or shouldn't do when it comes to activities for dates.

3. Embrace technology


To be fair, more seniors are using technology than in the past. Computers, cell phones, the internet and more can all be used to find new relationships. If you aren't using these things already, take a course or have somebody teach you. It's easy to learn, and very handy when it comes to dating. Besides, there's a good chance the people you would be interested in dating are already using these technologies.


 

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Spouse Relationship Issues

Relationship With Spouse Issues - Real Or Imangined

The relationship with a spouse is something that, like all relationships, needs to be worked on every day, and often re-evaluated and re-assessed by both parties, both individually, and together. One of the most common  occurrences in a marriage that has survived for a long time, is that the spouses expect each other to react or behave as they do. This is actually quite ironic, really, when you think back to when you first met. Not always, but often, your now-spouse, then new-love, was very different from you, and you liked that. In fact, that may be a good part of the reason that you ended up getting married in the first place. But as married life settles in, the relationship with spouse evolves, and the day to day routine replaces a more impromtu lifestyle, you start to act like your spouse should be an extension of yourself in some way.

This can start out small, and eventually snowball so that it infiltrates your whole relationship. When you first fell in love, you were genuinely happy to make sacrifices to please your new partner. So, you would gladly stay in when you wanted to go out dancing, or you would be happy to get up early to go jogging, even if you had had a late night the night before. But as time wears on, you start doing instead what you want to do, regardless if that is what your husband or wife would like. And, you start to expect that he or she does what you want to do, or even worse, expect that he or she likes doing it.

While spouses may continue to be giving, what they may actually do is start giving what they would like to receive, rather than what their spouse really wants. So, you have the receiver who is upset because he or she is getting something that is completely unwanted, and the giver is equally upset and offended because the seemingly precious gift is being rejected.

There are some relatively easy ways to get over this behavior of expecting your spouse to be like you. First of all, you need to admit or recognize that you are doing it. It may have crept up on you so slowly and silently over the years, that you didn't even realize it. The next step is to make sure you are communicating. Are you asking your spouse what he or she wants? Is he or she asking what you want? Or are you just assuming the answers based on your own desires and needs.

The relationship with spouse is definitely a valuable relationship that has its own dynamics can trials. Reminding yourself that your spouse is not just an extension of you is a good thing. It allows you to enjoy the experience of loving another unique person, who can teach you a great deal if you just pay attention.

 

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